The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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