Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
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