This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
She's the barista slut.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
