we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
