So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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