This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
