I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
