can we get nightvision for the apartment?
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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