Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
