so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
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