If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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