last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Randomize