so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
50% drunk capacity currently
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
