Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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