Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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