guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
