LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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