just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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