What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I have aggressive nipples.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize