Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
