Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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