Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf

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(612): View more from Minnesota

I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?

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(912): View more from Georgia

you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?

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(519): View more from Ontario

Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.

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(563): View more from Iowa

Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.

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(660): View more from Missouri

what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?

(816): View more from Missouri

um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

This is why Helen Keller didn't drink

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(602): View more from Arizona

I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet

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(541): View more from Oregon

Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.

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