How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
