Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Welp...herpes.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize