no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Less talking, more tequila
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
