____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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