i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
