I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
