Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i think i have herpe
just one?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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