dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize