ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
