He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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