I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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