Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
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