But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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