thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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