I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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