If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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