Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
