I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
