That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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