glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Randomize
