Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
