Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize