batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
