if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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