he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
