garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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