you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Randomize
