I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
