i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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