ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Randomize
