The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
