I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
no, he came in my armpit
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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