and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
