Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize