I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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