just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize