How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
