u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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