More tranny stories later!
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize
