Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
