You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
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