when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
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