ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
