haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
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