This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
