trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
