I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Randomize
