Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
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