You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
