She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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