I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
